The best I can

Esther and I went shopping for new shoes today. She is in that weird zone between outgrowing her old shoes (she says her big toe is uncomfortable) and being unable to fill shoes that are one size bigger. So, my mission today was to find shoes that are safe to run around in with room for growth…and try my best not to interfere with Esther’s style choices which can be very amusing. She selected a pair of blue sneakers and a shiny orange mary jane ballet flats. I liked another pair of flats that was yellow but she insisted on the orange one and then, just as we were about to leave the store, she said she liked the yellow one. Ah, kids.

Afterwards, I set Esther free at a kids’ cafĂ©, grabbed a coffee, and contemplated my behavior which had been nagging me all morning long.

This morning I lost my temper a bit while trying to hail a cab and keep Esther on the pedestrian walk. This was very stressful to begin with, not helped by the fact that my two-and-a-half-year-old very stubbornly insisted on three things: 1) that I hold my nose because there is dust in the air, 2) that she will not wear her jacket, and 3) that she will not hold my hand.

Instant remorse followed by fierce justification along the lines of “keeping her safe”, “respecting her independence” and “mother knows best” would have been the theme of the day. Luckily, my little monster let me hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I loved her.

Mommy is doing her best, sweets.